Mama, Chaos, Cuss words & Coffee

It’s been over a year since I wrote a freaking blog post last. I swear my life is so chaotic that I blink and a year passes.

Lets run through some quick life updates.

• Declan is now 7 and in Second Grade. yeppp
• Declan has lost a couple teeth and now his front one is wiggly and it is grossing me out.
• Declan played baseball again this year, ugh i love baseball season and him playing baseball. He’s playing soccer again this year, and he has a good little soccer team.
• Piper is now 4 and in Pre-k. (I’ll wait for you to finish weeping because same sis, same.) Piper is also playing soccer, which was a trip at first because sister had a FULL BOWN meltdown when she found out BOYS were on her team. She was NOT having it.
• Piper and Declan learned to swim fully without their life jackets. And what I mean by that is that Piper is out here doing the breast stroke better than me. What is that sorcery?! She can also hold her breath for a SCARY long time. I don’t know what to do with that information either but I have it just hanging out in my pocket 😂
• Sean and I celebrated 8 & 9 years of marriage.
• I turned 35, and literally in 18 days turn 36. HA!
• I moved into a more full time role at Elite Outdoors, (Shoutout to them if you’re in the Dayton area and need a fence or deck, we’re the bomb.com)
• I turned my side cookie gig into an actual company, Mental Bake Down LLC became an official business in May of 2023.
• We took the kids to Disney again last year in September, and Sean and I went back to Orlando in July.
• Spent 5 glorious days in Hilton Head with my mama.
• I had a full ACL repair surgery in March. (knee surgery #5) Blehhhhh. Also, yes you read that right…5th knee surgery.

Other than that, same shit different day you know?

Okay, that was a lie, it’s been a C H A O T I C year. My cookie business took the absolute fuck off. I WAS NOT PREPARED. *insert traumatized shiver*. Listen, if I’ve learned anything with this business is sometimes it takes a mother fuckin’ village. Between kids, dough, baking, icing, bagging & tagging, marketing, shopping, finding time to eat, design, respond to messages, etc…it takes a villllaaggggeee. I handle MAJORITY of the load, but sometimes I’ve had to call in backup. There are a lot of times Sean has to make my dough while I roll and bake to help for time efficiency, times friends of mine have helped with dough, help roll and bake, and have helped bag cookies for me.

When I tell you all that these cookies are a LABOR of love, I freaking mean it. I spend the better half of MULTIPLE hours working on these bad boys after my day job, and honestly it’s basically another full time job. BUT…and that’s a big ass but…I freaking LOVE IT. I’m serious, there is something so freaking calming about putting on a book in my headphones, zoning out and creating beautiful cookies with freaking ICING. WOULDJA JUST LOOK AT THEM! *scroll to see dem pictures 👀

Seriously, I’m obsessed with how some of them have turned out. I’m always going to be my hardest critic….but from where I started….to now….is WILD to compare. But don’t worry, I put pictures below so you can judge my first couple batches of cookies to now….Judge away on those first two pictures.

Okay, seriously, even me seeing that next to each other, I’m gonna toot my own horn real quick. *toot freaking toot with a little fist pump action* I seriously enjoy making these bad boys. If you’re interested in ordering cookies : Fill out my google form….here…>>>> ORDER COOKIES HEREEEEE!!

I’m beyond blessed with the amount of love I’ve received during this cookie journey so I’m pretty stoked to see where this continues to go.

But let’s all be real, you’re not here to read about my cookies, or honestly even me. You’re here for my feral ass kids.

Here’s a fun story to wrap up my year long hiatus….staring the one and only Piper…

We’ve been having issues with Piper sleeping in her own bed. Sister ABSOLUTELY refuses to stay in her bed all night. Which has now turned into at bedtime she says “when you go to bed, come and get me.” and if I tell her “no” in anyway shape or form, she cries…HYSTERICALLY. So, being clever, or so I thought, I started to say “mommy is staying up, I’m not going to bed yet.” to which Pipey reiterates that she said “WHEN you go to bed, come get me.” Of course Piper, my apologies my queen, you said WHEN. How naive of me. *insert eye roll* I started responding with “we’ll see.” For a couple nights, she would THROW my door open, and I MEAN throwing it open, HYSTERICAL because I had the AUDACITY to go to bed without her. She crawls into bed, AND I KID YOU NOT, snuggles up next to me, touches her forehead to mine, puts a smile on her face and goes to sleep. For those of you wondering, YES, YES IT IS CUTE AS FUCK, YES HER LITTLE SMIRK IS ONE THAT SCREAMS “I WIN”. Don’t get me wrong, I stare at her perfect widdle face, and I want to pinch her freaking cheeks, but why do you need to come in here hollerin’ like that?! It’s terrifying and makes me damn near pee my pants. Not only that, when Pipey sleeps in our bed, she becomes my back pack….and listen you guys, I SWEAT when I sleep by myself. ADD A HOT BOX BACK PACK….the amount of sweat that comes off my body, I should be down AT LEAST 10 pounds. ANYWAYYYY. One night, she didn’t come into our room…and ya’ll I was TICKLEDDDDD. TICKLED. So the next morning here is how our conversation went.

Me: “PIPEY! You slept in your own bed ALL night like a big girl! I’m so proud of you sister!”

Piper: “I’llllllllll probably nottttt”

Me: *chuckles* what? You’ll probably not? You’ll probably not what?”

Piper: STRAIGHT FACED AND MONOTONED AF “I’ll probably not do that again.”

*cue shock and laughter* Ma’am. Uh. That’s not how this works. But she clearly has other thought other than out here just living her best life, crawling into bed with Sean and I, touching foreheads, sneezing in my face (because OBVIOUSLY) and being my personal hot box back pack. BUT SHE’S SO TUTE WHEN SHE SLEEEPPPSSS. The emotional back and forth of being a parent is like constant whiplash. Like “ugh she’s so tute” butttt “I really wish I could sleep without her on my back”.

Friends I’m sorry it’s been so long. I’ve been thriving and surviving.

Hopefully in my chaotic schedule I can make it a point for more wild stories of my children.

But to hold you over until next time…just know Piper cried over me writing her name in caps and argued with me about what an “e” looks like and Declan is becoming a bottomless pit with a soul of a mouthy saint.

Love you all.

-Sammie. Your local shit show mama.